An unlikely bit player in one of the summer's film dramas was the humble mustache. To be more precise, the facial furniture of the actor Henry Cavill. This became a problem because extensive Justice League shots overlapped with Mission: Impossible – Fallout, for which Cavill had to grow a mustache (which he was contractually prohibited from shaving). The reality of the stunt work meant that Cavill couldn't carry a fake for M: I, so Warner Bros took the hit and removed the offending tache from his reshoot scenes with CGI (the results weren't quite impressed with the fans).
But with such a high-profile role that celebrates the elaborate nose warmer, will we experience a renaissance in the care of the upper lips this season? If the hipster beard may reach the end of its life cycle, this could be the next follicular boundary. But if we want to recapture the muzzy of 1980s footballers, Latin American dictators, and retired Northern Irish paramilitaries, which mustache style should you choose? Well, in descending order …
The Chevron comes closest to a naturally mature shape and is a deceptively difficult style, unless your name is Tom Selleck or Ron Swanson. It can balance out big features and give some old-fashioned anti-fashion power, the father of the eighties, but you need decent hair strength and growth to not look like a student trying to buy a beer.
It works best as part of a general macho look. So, try putting on some gymnastics before growing, and possibly combining it with a heavy, non-reconstructed scent for maximum effect by alpha males.
The Beard Pain
The least conspicuous but easiest to perform of these styles – one Classic artisanal mustache paired with a slightly developing beard. A look that suggests you had a well-groomed chevron, but about a week after fighting crime, defending your property, and general resilience, it did slip a little. Less noticeable than a smoothly shaved face because the skin and hair tones are less contrasty, but you need decent, even stubble growth for this to work.
This mustache style is suitable for dark colors. Better if lighter hair makes you look unkempt rather than "relaxed". This is Henry Cavill's mustache in Mission: Impossible. So expect it to appear immediately on your main street (albeit with men who don't look quite as heroic as Cavill).
The pencil was originally designed as an elegant, minimalist response to the arrogant facial hair of the Victorians. Popularized by Hollywood idols, it later became an abbreviation for the more stealthy gentleman – and to this day it conjures up images of guys who take lonely widows out of their savings or sell Hooky nylons to London women during World War II.
However, this does not mean that it cannot be revived in a modern context (bow, Jamie Foxx), but be warned that it needs to be shaved almost every day to maintain its clean lines. If you have small functions, this can work well. Combined with an unkempt look or long hair, however, there is a real risk of getting into the area of amateur magicians (Jack White is a major culprit).
An extremely strong personal statement. Associated with Hulk Hogan, Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction, leather cloning of the 80s like the guy from the Village People and the amphetamine-enriched bass-swinging metal god Lemmy from Motorhead, this is an absolutely no-frills mustache style
Not Suitable for people with a long, narrow face, as it gives you a certain horse-like aspect and must be seen as part of a complete outfit: it goes perfectly with head-to-toe bikers leather or broken-in double denim. Doesn't go well with something that you included in TK Maxx for football.
A Difficult Case: A Fine Mustache Style That Real Engagement demonstrated for growth, care and maintenance. But it has undoubtedly suffered from the association with retro holes that have spoiled it with hints of "Keep Calm And Carry On" posters, bleeding, ironically laden electro swing music and lightning revival club nights.
It is adaptable to most face shapes. So if you want to try the handlebar, either contrast it with a simple workwear-inspired outfit, or go for something smart, preppy, and Ivy League (or, as the most famous exponent, Rollie Fingers, a baseball kit) . In short, if your mustache is crying out for attention, your outfit shouldn't be.
The Absolutely Great Daddy of Facefuzz, best shown by actor Sam Elliott . A shaggy, full-grown, big animal, perfect for the taller gentleman, everyone with a huge nose or a wide face. It can make you look old prematurely. So think carefully about committing to this style. Be ready for a gentle rip from your less fashion-conscious counterparts, such as "be careful, you won't be harpooned, you big fat bastard".
Also check that your significant other is not going to drop you instead of being seen with someone who looks like they spend much of their free time playing Magic: The Gathering and The Discovery Channel.
The Anchor Beard
Perhaps the worst facial hairstyle ever invented – and one who himself was the patron saint of male care, David Beckham, who fell victim to a combination of a pointed beard that traces the jaws and tips in a kind of soul patch under the lip and sits under a disembodied mustache.
A statement referring to long hours of arguing about pick-up artistry on YouTube comment threads, in-depth repetitions of The Matrix, and possession of at least one sword (or "mastery of the blade", such as this type of helmet would undoubtedly call it).